‘I’m speaking from my heart again and bearing parts of my soul. These are the that I keep to myself and am ashamed for you to know’ ~ Karen Thandiwe
Shame is a difficult subject. It can manipulate you into thinking that you don’t have the right to be upset about what you do or that something was your fault. This is now my third time speaking about abuse publicly and the battles that I have encountered and are still encountering to this day.
There is no physiological backing for this topic because I am not a psychologist and there isn’t a biological explanation for why we exhibit the behaviours we do because I am speaking about my experience. The feeling of living in fear of when someone is going to try to use words against you when they last failed you. When your cries were ignored but the feigning screams of their alleged fans are what should continue to silence you but, it can’t. I am stronger than I was yesterday and I will be strong tomorrow, likely even stronger because I am speaking…there is power in your voice when you use it for good.
Anxiety. It can make you more alert and aware of your surroundings but if you feel unsafe in your mind then that is where the trouble arises. And I don’t want to rhyme and make this corny but you must always remind yourself of how worthy you are and how valuable your thoughts are, they are what protect you and guide you so you should really treat them in high regard.
Nothing in my life has ever been imbalanced more than the fear of what I think and the reality of what I know. My greatest achievements have been the product of 99% chance and 1% belief and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t proud of this so how can it not relevant that what I think cannot be shifted so that it becomes more beneficial. I understand that salaries are low and the cost of living is abominable so the help you may require for these issues is too much or you don’t know where to start but you can start with yourself. You matter, you always have.
Thank you
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